Quarter-life Crisis (Being in post Twenties)

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

P.S : A mail rcvd this morning from a frnd....

The Unknown 'Me'!!!!!

People say I write only sad things ..things of past...things which have no relevance today..past is something I cant change..then why to discuss it even...why only write about pain? Why not of things the world around? Why not about corruption, politics, cricket, profession? Why only things so depressing and poignant? Some ask is that all fiction I write or is this d way my lyf is....full of failures and disappointments.
I dont answer any of the question...coz I blv its not worth it. People who kw me know the answer of each and every part of it, for rest...i dont think its even necessary. I write what I feel lyk writting. One who is trying to extract my story and feelings with der own mix and match are just wasting der tym. Der are lots of stories and things beneath my mind and heart...some real, some fiction, some real which i want to be a fiction and vice-versa. Its hard for me even to differentiate between the two...for others..may be impossible. Coz I live a parallel life with this. I talk to people who are not with me today. I sit with my past and talk for hours..I go and meet it everyday...i cry with it ..i laugh with it. And in those moments I dont let anyone to go far from me. I have stole few clicks, few moments from it...with which I live everyday. And in all this..I feel you..near me...with me...beside me..smilling... and looking at me.Yes, I see you everyday and everywhere I go.You dont let me go away, coz I dont want you to let me go. I am your addicted...and you know that. No matter where you are...how you are...you always remain with me..every place I go, I fnd your existence..and we walk together..hand in hand. Those empty streets, those crowded roads, those stairs..I feel you everywhere.
People say I dont want to come out this pain and agony...I dont want to let go things. Yes..I dont want to...coz I like when I cry everynight and my eyes get red and swell for you..it make me feel alive..the pain. Coz If I let this go..I'll lose you..forever. You exist in evry part of my pain...of my reasonless smiles...of my unknown tears.How can I let you go away from me? How can I make myself free from this pain? This is the only way I can feel you with me.How can I lose you?

He And She (IV)

She: Hello!
He: Hello..whose dis?
She: Hi..its me!
He: Oh! Hi...Actually I ws just going through my 'Answered' list of phone calls wen I found this unknown number. So thought to confirm whoz number is this.May be Ankur has called me from your number. Sry to call so late!
She: Hey..its ok...no need of so much of clarifications.
He: Yeah...so howz u?
She: Me gud..wat about you?
He: Me fine.So thought of smething for annual function?
She: Nahh..not yet.Will talk to Tanya and Parul tomorrow. What about you?
He: I have some plans..bt i need advise and support from whole batch.
She: Hmmm........I can take accountability for my group...or may be all girls.
He: Fine..I'll talk to all boys. Thnx
She:Pleasure Mr.Hacker!!!
He: Hmm........(smiled)...see ya tomorrow then!
She: Sure! Bye!
He:Bye!



She was actually surprised to rcv call from Him. First time in her lyf she actually thought of someone before sleep. Was she falling for him?Nah...its too early for that. They need to kw each other better before that. So, finally the phase of knowing each other started................

Anthropocentric

I am trying to blv in one thing these days..."Whatever happens, happen for good. And everything has a reason." Let me clarify one thing here...I am just trying to blv in this statement. Since I am not an optimistic person, i need sme tym to blv in such a thing. But whenever I try to make this statement justified...the only question which comes up in my mind is "Really???" I mean I do blv that every event in lyf has a meaning....you just need to decode the code and you'll be able to find the hidden mystries. But is that event really mandate in your life? I doubt.
We..The Humans...are very dexterous...we mould and see things in the way we want them to be. If we gt pass we call it our efforts, our success and if we fail...we call it Fate.What a hypocrite we are. We give so many justifications and clarifications for our sins and guilt.Sometym I hate being 'Human'.

P.S: Yeah...I am bit frustrated these days...:-(

Now And Then...............

I am not happy today...its not like that I am sad....bt yeah nt happy too. This feeling is strange...m nt feelin numb either...den wat? sme sort of mixed emotions...I have realized one thing off late...I am not liking changes..be it related to anything or anyone, I dont like changes. I like life to be immobile...free from relocation. I like things to remain same..now and forever....new faces and new people are things m nt ready to entertain at this point of tym..may be later..may be never..but for nw...i like things as they were before. I want my pen to remain on my table when i cme back...i want to see my clothes scattered on my bed when i return. I love to see each and everything of mine in the way as i left them before leaving. I want to see same faces when I go office...m nt ready to accept new beings around. Why changes are inevitable...why I have to be a part of these changes? They scares me...new things, new people...getting back to square one and starting off again.



I was not like this...Der was a tym when I craved for smething new to happen...Every other day I wanted something different ...something unusual...Bt today...I need a simple lyf...away from twist and turns...no surprises, no shocks...just a sedate and subdued living!!!!!!!!!

He and She (III - The first Conversation)

Months Later...

Tanya:This exam thing is screwing me up.Have studied whole night still everything seems to be same.
Parul : Hey whats the basic difference between 2NF and 3NF?Between can we go and have something to eat. I am starving.
Tanya: Shut up!Exam is about to start.
Parul: Oh...mine number is three hundread something...pehle to tumhara aega.
Tanya: Guess what!(looking at the roll number chart). He is going to sit between Nitish and you.
She: Between who?
Parul: Damn! I envy you sometime. Lets interchange our roll numbers...lolz
She: As if I care.Let it be na.I am not going to talk to him between the exam anyways.

In the Lab:

HE: All the best!
SHE: Thanx! Wish you the same.
Parul(smirked):Wish me luck too guys!!
2 hours later:
Parul: I am not going to click on End Test.
Tanya: What the hell! Click it na.
Parul: NO!
Tanya:Are you mad or what?End it now.
Parul: I hate online exams.Turant jhatka de dete hain. I mean whats the need of disclosing result so early?
She: Hey I cleared the exam.
Parul: Where is HE?How much he scored?
Tanya: Must have topped...huhh!!!
She: No! Nitish has topped I guess.
Parul: Then go and ask him atleast how much he scored.
Tanya: You take care of your exam first... end your test now!!

She ran through the corridor. He standing near the water dispenser.

She:Hey!!!
He: Hey!
She: So how much you scored? You got vanish suddenly.
He: Yeah! scored same as yours.
She: Oh!! You know how much I scored.
He: Yeah. Have to take care of few things!(smiled)



P.S.:Their first conversation lasts for about 5 seconds. But things started changing from that very point...From just staring they then started quid pro quo "Hi-Hellos" and Smiles too!!! Yes, things were changing amidst them!!!

A story not meant to be

This is not the way it was supposed to end. This story has to had some different ending.Things has to be different.This is not what I imagined or liked the way it should be.Something went wrong...something....anything. I decided it to go a long way...to be more intimate, tempest,more passionate, more romantic...But things went the other way around.He was supposed to be her Man today, He was supposed to stand by her side rather then sitting miles away and sharing her space with everyone else.He is supposed to come back...to be with her..they are meant to be together.She cannot cry all her life like this.She cannot be so misfortunate in love.Did she really got loved by him? Was it love actually or he just pretented? If it was love, how can he left her like this in the moddle of nowhere.Is there anyone who really cares for her or she is just meant to be alone?

P.S :Some people are meant to be alone. This is neither good nor bad. This is just Life planned for them.