Being " A Girl" thing..!!!

I smetym see the grls around me and analyze their behaviour. I mean the way they stand...the way they sit..one leg neatly on the other and the other nicely placed on the floor. The way they move their hands while they talk. The way their eye balls contract and expand with each passing expression.Their meek smile on each compliment. Typical girl behaviour I mean to say. Discussing things about boys(do-you-know-that -boy -proposed-me thing).....exploring new hairstyles and matching accessories...bitching...gossiping. Complexion and sunscream issues.Beauty consciousness...I mean they carry the whole baggage full of cosmetics with them even if they hv to jst cross the street. I saw some of my colleagues and ex-batchmates carrying the whole bunch of "make-me-look-beautiful" things in parties...I wonder how they manage to remember what they have to put after what. I mean base after foundation or liner before mascara[or may be something else.. I dunn kw the exact name of items :-( ].
But the most important thing which I realized is....I am lacking in all the above mentioned attributes of grls here. Do I hv some problem or they all are defective? Am I different or they all are same? I mean I do behave like grls...yeah..I do. But these are somethings which I just cant handle.Infact I also realized the fact that almost all my friends are male...except fr 2-3 grls the whole circle of mine is occuped with boyfriends(not typical boyfriends...but friends who are boys). Infact I sit and talk with them and tease every other grl around us for fun.My thoughts and ideas are lil bit different from these girls.I take my own decision and face the consequences..be it positive or negative. But that doesnt mean that I am a tomboyish sort of a girl...I am totally normal and behave lyk a normal girl(or may be not completely normal)...I have feelings and respect for my emotions which most of these 'typical girls' may not have.But I just cant act fake.I cant pretend to be the one I am not.I dont have any problem with these girls...I like many things they do...like ...errr.....ok nw that will take some tym to think.
Anyways...for the time being...my innerself is satisfied with my behaviour....may be weird for most of the grls...but I like it this way. Coz I like the way I am and no one else could play my role better than me. :-)

Midnight moon...creeping night...half closed eyes.....scattered hairs.....swollen lips......and you lay by my side.. Burning desires......tingles on body......sensation of love lust I would say........smell of perfume.....drivin me crazy....
Night darker than silhouette......carnal smile..restless soul....eyes waiting for the right move......flesh all wet in sweat....irresistible you...intractable me....
"Who wants to be in control anyways! . You insist. I agreed.
Mislaid fingertips on your shoulders...fitful heartbeats in your arms........................



A night to remember and a love so beautiful!!!!!!!

And I Tried..........

I tried to forget you name
and I forgot mine
I tried to remove all your memories
and ended up with a blank mind
I tried not to feel you anymore
but became numb
I tried close my eyes to ease the pain
but slept succumb............

Living in Gray!!!!

White and black are not my colours...

..........................few things look gracious in gray!!!

Get off from my way...Losers!!!!!!!

I have been amazed by the fact how much people are concerned with my 'personal' life for the last few weeks. They pretend as if how much they care. People who dont even care I exist are sending "take care" messages. Mails, phone calls are keeping me busy more than my work these days. One thing which I dont understand(or may be I kw) is that why out of blue they are so much anxious about "me-and-my-life"? Why am I becoming center of attention in their lives. Whatever it is...these idiots are just exhausting their energy as they dont even know where I am now (not physically offcourse). I give a damn to them and neither their existence nor their absence will affect any part of my being. If they are feeling guilty or something like that...thats a problem...not mine but theirs'....and if they are trying to do sumthing else....like making me feel low or alone...then..hahhh.....keep trying, it'll not take you anywhere in this world. These losers are good for nothing and dont have any damn work in this whole world except for peeping in others life.
They are so bloody concerned with what one write or share with others....if the person who write doesnt has any problem,then why the hell are they worried about the same?I mean what the ........ phewhh.....these losers are just testing my patience....these cowards dsnt have guts enough to utter a single word in front of anyone....still act as if they are the most intellectual breed one can find in the whole universe....bloody pseudo-inttelectuals.
Just stay away from my life or i'll smash your face if ever you try to come across my way!!!!!

P.S : I dont regret for any single word I wrote here!!!!

And her wait never ends............

Her vacuous eyes has been waiting for him..its been ages now since he left. Deep inside she knew the truth that he'll never come back...but every night she sits at her door and wait for the sound of his footsteps. Her eyes has dried up...now even tears dsnt flow from them.Her face..so numb and solicitous. Years back...one friday night....he left a note to her that he'll come back one day and take her away from here.He'll take all her pain and woes away.He was the one who made her believe in dreams and promised to fulfill all her desires. With him she learnt to fantasize things, to live in an imaginary world.In the few days they were together, she believed that even she can dream of things so beautiful in her life.
She was all alone when he hold her hand.She decided not to trust anyone, to blv in love ever and decided to spend all her life alone when he came in her life and made her alive again.With him she laughed again....loved again.Then why he left her that way? She was so tired of this question now that even her heart and brain do not accompany her to answer this grief.
All she do every friday night is to adorn herself in the costume she wore that night......her bridal dress and vermilion in her hand!!!

piya tora kaisa abhimaan

Kisi mausam ka jhoka tha jo is deewar per latki hui tasveer tirchi ker gaya hai
gaye sawaan me ye deewarein yun seeli nhi thi
na jane is bar kyu in mein seelan aa gayi hai ,dararein pad gayi hain
aur seelan is tarah behti hai jaise khushk ruksaroin per geele aansu chalte hain
ye barish gungunati thi isi chat ke munderoin per
ye ghar ke khidkiyoin ke kaanch per ungliyoin se likh jate the sandeshe
bilakti rehti hai baithi hui ab band roshandano ke peeche
dopherein aisi lagti hain bina mohroin ke khali khane rakhe hian
na koi khelne wala hai bazi aur na koi chaal chalta hai
na din hota hai ab na raat hoti hai...sabhi kuch ruk gaya hai
wo kya mausam ka jhokha tha jo is deewar per latki hui tasveer tirchi ker gaya hai.............