Life and Me!!!!!!

For the last few days I am feeling low...yeah ...damn low. Reason...I dunn know..or may be I do and dont want to confront it. I have never felt so alone in my entire lyf. It is like I am standing amidst crowd with no clue where to proceed. I have been trying lot many things to come out of it...but failed everytime...called frnds, read articles, watched TV(after about 8 months)...listened songs...continuously...hard rock , gazals, slow... all sorts...but none of it helped. Met one-two frnds....still the same feeling. May be I wanted to meet and talk with some specific person.....but..........
I am not talking with anyone these days......yeah...not with a single person...colleagues, frnds, parents, sibling, neighbours......no one.Its not like I dont want to talk with them...its just that I dont feel like talking and chatting with them...my mind is not here...neither is my heart. People who are close to me are not with me today...I miss them...I really do. Lyf has always been rude with me...it always take my people away from me....strange it is....till the time I maintain sme distance with people...it always try to make them enter that line...and once I let them cross that boundary...it snatches away everything I have.I fought with it...not one or two...but ample of times....and I lose...everytime....coz at the end...its me who is left with nothing but empty hands and broken heart.

A thing called "Relations"

I never wanted this story to repeat again...not with her atleast. I dont want anyone else to suffer from the same agony and pain I went through once.Why it always ends like this...tears, pain, loneliness...and why only one side of coin suffers?? or is it that one side is not able to feel the heartache of other? Whatever the thing may be....to whatever degree the situation is.....heart suffers. People who were once close like night and moon becomes stranger in fraction of seconds. Wish I could make this heart understand to forget things and people who has forgot him, else hurt urself from memories like me. Isnt strange how the best moments of your life makes you cry...every place where you love to go just because you feel his/her persence become reason of your tears. I wish I could tell her to be strong and face the harsh reality of being 'in-out' of relations....as once broken...it takes years to mend...or may be it never will.
I wish some people could learn to differentiate between desires and fantasies, love and being loved.....and most importantly... the vast difference between Love and Lust.

The more I run from them, the more they chase me...your memories

And now I want to stand still..........

Your Name.......

I dont want to talk about you with anyone now. I wonder why they are so concerned about you...they kw it makes me sad...your sheer name. I have been trying a lot to act as if I dont care about you...but you kw the truth..dont you? Yeah...der was a time when you were the only thing I wanted to discuss about...but today...I dont want to utter a single word which hold your name....else they will take away the only thing I have today...your name with me.
I talk with it you know...and it answers me back...like the way you always did. It makes me smile..make me sulk...makes me go crazy. Oh yes,...your voice always made me crazy...n your fragrance... it made me go insane. I never told you these things..but your name knows it all...the level of addicted you have made me.
N yeah, I missed you today. It was lyk as if smeone has locked me in a room with no sign of oxygen. yeah..it was that suffocating..remembering you..missing you..wanting you to be my side. Do you ever miss me that way? Ahh....doesnt matter. It wont effect my intensity of remembering you.

Dilli

Delhi is a place I have always been in love with. Yeah....i like the colours people wear here...local buses rush, metro crowd...shopping streets...spicy food...everything. Once when I was in delhi during my training...my roomie (from chennai) claimed Delhi is not worth to be the Capital of India..i admit pollution, traffic is a big big question mark here,neither it has clean streets and hygienic tea and food stalls...but still...I like this place.The zeal and enthu with which people live here...no one is concerned with anyone's business ...
Neways, what I like the most here is the freedom...to go newhere and everywhere...to get lost in crowd...party every night...to walk alone on a long street...few could say that these things could be done in every city...bt then Delhi has a different way to accept you as a person you are. Congested streets of old delhi, posh colony's of south ...shopping markets(Lajpat, CP, Janpath)..Colleges, universitys'....I like every flaw and each immaculateness of this place.I dont know why I have so much of affection for this city...bt this is tha way it is.
After all....basti hai mastanoin ki dilli, gali hai deewano ki dilli.......

...and the urge to be in your arms evoked again.

Love :-)

Our souls sit close and silently within,
And their own web from their own entrails spin;
And when eyes meet far off, our sense is such,
That, spider-like, we feel the tenderest touch.

- John Dryden

Love...different people...different meaning...and different perception...but every love has a different side and different experience. Even if you fall in love with more than one person(yes..u cn ), u'll realize that loving the former is entirely different from the later one.But I blv der is that one person who is actually made for u. I call that person your "Soulmate". Now its upto you how much efforts you put into to meet that person....coz its not mandate u'll be able to meet him. He might be your very old frnd...or totally a stranger...the person sittin next to you in a journey or just a passerby.
I dont know how many of you agree to this...but I blv that someone...somewhere is made for me. The one who'll love me like anything...the one for whom i'll be the best gift of life...who would stay awake all night just to see me sleeping. The one with whom I want to grow old, with whom i can just be "ME". Whose aura brings a sense of tranquility around...who can hold my hand in crowded street...who can says to his friends "That's her....the love of my life". Who can do anything and everything just to make me smile...with whom world's seems so beautiful...I can feel beautiful.. The one who see me at my ugliest and still says.."I love you...for the way you are"........



And I blv that der is someone made for me....and i will meet my SOULMATE....sometym....somewhere.....down the road. :-)