The changed world or the changed me?

It’s been long…quite long. Years have passed by. The feeling is getting worst. Since then. Strange is the way I feel for myself. The way I see a different world around. People changing each and every second. Relationships getting staled. Feelings changing with every passing second. It sucks! These changes. And what sucks more is the way I have changed and the type of person I have become. Love, Calmness, tranquility is bygones today. The only feelings which exist are of aggression, anger and hatred.

I have lost almost all people with whom I once was so close. And the irony is I don’t miss them. I don’t feel the need to call them and talk to them. I don’t care if people hate me or love me. Coz they doesn’t matter anymore. The feeling of being accepted or rejected doesn’t matter. I don’t miss the presence of anyone in my life. Not even my parents. Yes, I do care for them but I don’t miss anyone.

But I feel a strange urge sometimes. The urge to get lost in a crowd. To run to some unknown place…talk with strangers…. Walk alone for hours. People find it difficult to talk with me these days. The type of reaction they get from me is weird, as per them. I somewhere know this. There is this devil developing inside me and this devil has ruined lot many things till now. It is making me numb, careless, selfish bitch. And this bitch doesn’t care about herself too.

What have I become? What will I be sometime from now. It makes me scare sometimes. But then I don’t care about that too.