2012

It’s been more than two hours since I have been trying to get a sleep, but yes..I could’t. I don’t know what’s going inside my head. I have been reading, listening music, spending time with myself…but there is this strange feeling…I don’t know it is anxiety or excitement..that made me jump out of my bed and write this. Life has been quite messy with the things going around. 2012 does not proved to be an year for me. Lot many things happened…LOT MANY. From dad’s heart attack to losing my best pal..my lifeline. There is nothing much I want to carry on to this year. But yes, it made me stronger…in a weird way. I have seen myself going down into the abyss of hopelessness, fear, sorrow and then raising myself again..piece by piece…one after another. But there were some pieces I lost in the tide that I am never going to find again. Pieces which were build of trust, faith…pieces that made the foundation of that love…of that companionship. I don’t want to hold hatred beneath my heart..for that will only break me more. I don’t want to carry bad memories..for I have made many beautiful with the same. I don’t know whether it’s a new beginning or the end of another era…I don’t know the reason for what all happened…but I want to forgive it all….I want to forgive the bad time, the people associated with it…the wrong doings…I want to forgive myself for the foul words..the ugly thoughts…the sinner inside me.

But I am not going to forget it. The incidents that challenged my faith…the words that shouldn’t have been used…the gestures that snatched my belief…the aura that made me feel ugly. I will not forget what made me weak…what made me helpless…what brought hatred inside me in the first place…

May the year like this never ever arrive in my life again…may I become stronger with each passing day….may my heart forgive the one that broke me…may my mind find peace…and may the ones that I lost in the tide live happily..with no regrets…with no guilt!