standoffish

She sat there, holding a book in her hand. Page number 157. It doesn'ttake more than three days to complete a book of such a length, if it could hold her interest. And this book was one of her kind. But it has been several hours since she has been strucked on this page. The book was right there…in her left hand…with her index finger clenched amidst the half closed book. She tried opening it several times…moving her eyes over words…reading words after words but not a single word could make it through her brain.

She could not stop the voices echoing inside her mind…the pictures running before her eyes. She just closed her eyes with force…thinking this could help. But how could you close your eyes with what’s going within? She stood up…gasping for some air and lit a cigarette. Watching at the distant skyscrapers, thousand thoughts crossed her mind. She had left behind whole world of hers. The world which she made of so much love and affection. World..that once was hers’. Does she miss that? Does she hate the one who destroyed it? Is it anger or the helplessness which has made her so different?

What she is today is not an inch closer of what she used to be. She has secluded herself from everything and everyone around…becoming more of a mystery…more of a puzzle which no one could solve…not even she herself. People have given up long back to understand her. She says nothing. She shares nothing. All you could see is a weak smile on her face when asked what it is that bothers her so much.

It’s been hours since she has been staring at the sky…the distant sky touching buildings…the birds who have just waken up from the slumber. The dark circles around her eyes show the insomnia she has been suffering from.

Looking at the folded page 157….she closed the book. Realizing…it’s yet another night she spent thinking of those years. Yet another night that reminded how lonely she has become. Yet another night of ugly truths and late realizations.