Year gone by!

It’s been really long since I stopped writing. Not that I don’t want to. I feel this urge to write and just vent it out. But life has been busy. Busy with so many thing. With changes. With marriage. With job. And with myself. I open the page and I just go blank. I think I have lost my capacity to think. Or maybe I just don’t want to think anymore. Coz the more I think about the past year, the more I want to run from it.

Few days back, one of a friend said why I over-analyze things. That got me thinking, that do I really think this much? Now that I really don’t want to. I run from it. But, you know what. I was wrong. This is me. This is a very essential part of my being. That I am sensitive to few things. That I do think. And I can’t separate that part of me from myself. I don’t want to. I would prefer living without people who cannot handle or accept the way I am. But I will not lose the very essence of me.

Coming back to writing. I just want to get back to that phase of my life where I would just wake up in the middle of the night and write it down my thoughts and never read it back. Today, I re-read my old posts, thinking, how I could just write all the things going through my mind. Why is it so tough now? Why I could not get the things out of my mind and my heart. Why words fail me everytime I want to write?

I am hoping this phase will pass soon. I hope things get better within me. I hope I could train my mind better and just listen to my heart. Year has passed but I am not myself.

And since I am out of words, I am concluding this post abruptly.