Sunday, December 30, 2012

What is forever? I mean how do you define it? By the time you are alive? By the memories that remains? By the time you were with someone? By the promises made that was never meant to complete? Does forever really exist? And if it does…has it proved its existence ever?

I once believed in it. Like we all believe in god. Feelings his presence and never been able to see him. Like we ‘trust’ that god exists, we feel the presence of the superpower that keeps you going. In the same way, this believe that forever exist, keeps you going in a strange way. Coz no matter you have seen it or its presence has not been gives you a reason to fight…a reason to stand up everytime you fall coz you know that ‘forever’ is with you..standing at a distant place…encouraging and motivating you to continue walking and never stop.

But what when you reach that point of saturation? What when you realize ‘Dat’s it!’, It’s over now…the myth..the mirage, that there was no ‘forever’ ever. Yes, it will hurt you, making you weak down the knees. You know, ignorance is bliss..but it’s time to face the reality. There is no such thing as forever for me now. Not even feelings stay forever. Love, hatred, friendship, anger, fear…they all come and go. And likewise people in your life. I always believed that everything has a life of its own. And once the life is over, there is no use in keeping it on ventilator and causing pain to it. It’s better to end it and let it go. It will cause pain too, great pain infact,watching something dying in front of your eyes which you nurtured for years. But the pain too will fade someday. It has to. Coz nothing is permanent, only change is!

But what if the pain remains? What if it never fades? Does that mean the ‘thing’ did not died? That there still was some life left in it when you said it goodbye? Is that why the last conversation, the last goodbye is necessary? To know whether it has died completely or there still is some life left in it. Was that a mercy killing from your part coz you could not see the pain and agony anymore? Who will be held responsible for it? Who need to feel guilty for the same? Who will feel restless all the life? I don’t know the answer of any of this. Maybe I am still not clear with the rule of life. But for how long? And who will decide the destiny of ‘forever’? Who will decide it’s time to hold on or let it go?

Saturday, December 15, 2012

She...She just believed!

When a person leaves your life..he leave a place that is almost impossible to fill by any other person. It is said that time is the biggest healer, it mends all wounds. It is said that with time..memories fade too, that whoever you meet….whoever you think will be by your side all your life would someday show you the real picture. That even the best of relations, even the beautiful of memories, even the nostalgia would cease to exist someday. Not because you want it, but because this is what life is all about. This is why we meet people for…to make memories and to move on.
“Forever it is!” He said that…or rather claimed. She…She just believed.
“No one else, if you’re not there.” He repeated thousand times. She….She just believed.
“My personal life is not separate from you. You know it all, you’ll always know” He shouted. She believed.
“I will never ever leave you alone. I will be with you always no matter what happens” He said. She believed.
“The whole universe is at one side, and you are at the other side…and I am at your side.” He whispered. She believed.
“You are above all. Your value is above all. You are even above the only girl I love the most.” He stated. She….She just believed.
“I don’t want to filth the name of our friendship, but it happened. I love you! “ He exclaimed. She…like always…believed.
“I would never be able to love anyone else except her ever in my life” He sobbed. She believed.
“What you have to do with my personal life? I have my own space” He shouted. She believed.
“I love someone else, there is no use feeling bad about it. I am gonna propose her soon” He exhaled.
Still trying to believe.
He found his way with someone else. She….She is still trying to gasp for a single breath. Trying to find reasons…trying to find when this all happened? When the first dialogue changed into the last one? When, who claimed to value her more than anything else, found his own way and she….she is just standing alone.
He claims to be alone. He claims that she left her. She could not say anything, coz everytime she tries to…all she could see around are questions which need to be answered. But to whom she would ask for answer? Coz the only person who could, she has lost all her right on him long back. And what prevails today inside and around her is SILENCE.