Friday, September 22, 2017

Sex, City and the world around!!

When I started my journey with Sex and the city, it was not with the season but with the movie. I watched all the parts in a day. I was fascinated and thrilled. I loved each and every character. I could relate to Carrie and at times with Miranda as well. I was the one who was looking for love and I am not ashamed to accept that. While Charlotte was always sweet, I was blown away by the strong and charismatic Samantha.

Then, I started watching the series. And, oh my God! I thought back then, that this is the perfect kind of life. I, my friends and the love of my life (after going through all the wrong ones of course). The heartbreaks, the personal challenges, the traumas and the ups and downs of life. Everything was so real and I lived with them. I roamed around the streets of Manhattan with them. No, they are not perfect. Nothing was perfect in their life. And that’s exactly what I loved about them.

I have never been a fan of Indian television, except for some exceptionally good soaps which used to watch when I was a kid, which I re-watched while growing up. Else, I think series like FRIENDS, HIMYM, Grey’s Anatomy, Sex and the city has taught me more about life than anything else. I was a lil uptight person (I still am) but with that, I started accepting things. I started accepting that closing your eyes does not mean that the thing does not exist. It broadened my perspective towards life. Towards relationship. They (all the above states series) have always bring me back to life when I was low and when I needed some advice. It taught me that I am not alone battling with this life and that no matter what…life must go on.

When Samantha found out about her cancer, When Derek died, When Monica broke up with was a lesson, that you must fight back and fight hard.

Yes, the society, the people are very different. I live in a country where every other person is judging you. Where people are more interested in your life than cleaning the shit in their own life. When people have all the time in the world to sit and gossip about every other person. But then, like Samantha once said “If I worry about what every bitch says about me, I’d never leave the house”.

People will always put you down. “What are you wearing”, “Look you have so many grey hair”, “She is so arrogant because she earns”, “She can’t do household work”, “She is way too educated”, “She must slow down coz she’s a women”. Well, yes my dear friends, it is just a tip of an iceberg. These statements will keep on floating from the people who could not do anything with their own life. And yet, here you sare, with a glass of wine (Which by the way your husband or your papa didn’t pay for :P ) and a smile on your face, listening to these losers and saying “I am not a type of a women who sits all day at home waiting for a Man”.

You should never be ashamed of who you are. Never feel bad because you are earning more than your husband. Such thoughts only comes in the mind of insecure people. Never feel guilty because you cannot do household work. You have a 12 hours demanding job to do. Be demanding. As long as you can pay your own bills, it doesn’t matter. In a relationship, it is not only husband’s duty to work their ass off so that you could swipe his hard earned money. It is your relationship too. And no matter what the world says, always be independent and demanding. Coz that’s your right. And nobody could take that away from you. Do not be ashamed to accept your success. Do not hesitate from accepting how proud you are of yourself. You are here coz you worked hard for it. You are successful, coz you have gone through worse. Let people hate you. This means you are doing something that they can’t do. Breathe. And Move on.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Year gone by!

It’s been really long since I stopped writing. Not that I don’t want to. I feel this urge to write and just vent it out. But life has been busy. Busy with so many thing. With changes. With marriage. With job. And with myself. I open the page and I just go blank. I think I have lost my capacity to think. Or maybe I just don’t want to think anymore. Coz the more I think about the past year, the more I want to run from it.

Few days back, one of a friend said why I over-analyze things. That got me thinking, that do I really think this much? Now that I really don’t want to. I run from it. But, you know what. I was wrong. This is me. This is a very essential part of my being. That I am sensitive to few things. That I do think. And I can’t separate that part of me from myself. I don’t want to. I would prefer living without people who cannot handle or accept the way I am. But I will not lose the very essence of me.

Coming back to writing. I just want to get back to that phase of my life where I would just wake up in the middle of the night and write it down my thoughts and never read it back. Today, I re-read my old posts, thinking, how I could just write all the things going through my mind. Why is it so tough now? Why I could not get the things out of my mind and my heart. Why words fail me everytime I want to write?

I am hoping this phase will pass soon. I hope things get better within me. I hope I could train my mind better and just listen to my heart. Year has passed but I am not myself.

And since I am out of words, I am concluding this post abruptly.