Tuesday, October 23, 2012

No more teachings...I have learned enough 'Dear Life'

“ I have become weak. Very weak. Emotionally, mentally…n somewhere deep down physically. “
“Or maybe…you are becoming stronger. Much stronger”
“I don’t know. This is not what I planned for. These changes were not in the list”
“But then, this is life. You can’t predict…you can’t help”
“I feel alone”
“Everyone is. And no one is. Accept it and move on.”

Conversations of this type happen daily. Sometimes between me and my mind and sometimes with my friends and family. But the question remains. Where have I headed towards? What life am I living now? What cost have I paid for falling in love again and losing it before I realized what blunder I have commit. A stage where even my parents have lost the hope to understand me. Everyday, I wake up with the broken pieces of my being and try to re-collect them. But every day I find one or the other piece missing. I don’t understand why is it such a compulsion to change? Why is it so important to fake happiness? Why is it so important to lie just to become a part of the group? Why things and people around change and give you reasons that even they don’t believe in?

Everyday…m losing trust…losing faith…or rather I have lost faith in everything around. No, I am no more disappointed…m no more sad or gloomy…m no more expecting anything out of anything. I am just amazed you know…AMAZED and I am literally smiling sarcastically while looking around. It’s a practical world you see! People are pragmatic towards life…towards career and even towards their social circle. It’s a mutual beneficial society. We no more make but select friends. We no more fall but choose to love. We no more feel but avoid feeling anything. We close our eyes and believe that the world is nothing but a black hole.

This is the world we live in today. Yes, believe me you that one day….one day even the best of person in your life would let you down…one day even your best friend would leave you for someone else…even your parents would fail to understand you…people who said would always stand by your side would ask you to find someone else. Coz this is life…it’s neither good nor bad…it’s just LIFE!

Hard to accept? You all must be feeling that I am just frustrated and depressed about my life and hence this post. Then let me make one thing clear…I am not. I am not an inch frustrated at the moment. Infact, I have never been this clear to myself. I have never seen the world this crystal clear. I have never been this honest to my soul and my mind.

I still don’t know whether I have accepted the truth, whether I am coming to the terms of it or have I become a rebel. Is there any love left within me or have I become numb? But yes…I have understand one thing…that in this ever changing world…only change is constant.

Life and it's teachings!

ife….it teaches you things which you never thought you would ever need. It teaches you to live alone…to smile in pain…to believe that there is nothing like forever…to accept that people leave…even the best person in your life would turn their back on you and you have to live alone someday…it teaches you to let things go….to accept the reality that if someone is not willing to be with you, you can’t make them stay…that value changes….priority changes…that this world is not only black and white…that at some point of time you have to give your toy to someone else…no matter how much your heart weep to see someone else playing with it. It teaches that heart break…more than once…that failing in love is worst than a broken heart..that rejection is toxic…too toxic to accept…that this world is running behind a mirage….an unidentified love…a crave. You’ll learn that relations change…that you can never ever back upon anything and say it will remain yours…forever….coz there is nothing like such.

This life is not bad…but it’s not fair too. Why it makes us learn thing the hard way? You know giving something to you and then snatching in the worst of way. Why we stop loving ourselves coz someone right their in your heart doesn’t love us? Why we become slave of our emotions? Are we that weak? Or we have become one? How do you feel when the world around take a state to resolve the issue between you and your heart? Who the hell are they to interfere between you both? Don’t you feel dejected and embarrassed coz now the whole world knows you have been deprived by your owns? This is a tough world to live in for the people like us. Like we emotional fools…who, when care for a person loses every shackles and boundaries. We, who cares…cares and keep caring with tears in eyes and a little hope in heart to get the same love as before…same place as before. We remember old times and people make fun of us coz we are strucked up in the good old days…the time of togetherness…the time when only ‘we’ exist…no third party…no involvement of this world. People make fun of us coz we can’t fake…if we love someone…we say that with no regrets…if we hate someone,….we show that with no embarrassment….

This is me…just the way I am…people ha sloved me..hated me..left me…but I am still me…I love each and every part of my past…the people those were lost in the tide…the people I am losing today…but I’ll love them….today and forever…coz the only thing which life failed to teach me is to ‘CHANGE WITH TIME AND BE SELFISH’!