I really liked the series and would urge all the wonderful women out there to watch it. I try to learn something from everything I watch and the three things I loved and learned about this series are:
1) Only looking beautiful and cooking will not make your marriage work:
Though the series is based in 1958, but nothing much has changed in terms of thinking of our women. From a very young age, woman still is made to believe that we must look beautiful for our man and the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. To be honest, I find it really appalling. Mrs Maisel, kept her best figure even after having two kids. She would measure all her body every day and keeps a journal to record it. She would work out and keep a track of calories to be fit and in shape. She would pretend to sleep and once her husband is off to sleep, she would put her curlers on, remove her fake eye lashes, put off her make-up and put on some beauty cream only to put it all back the next morning before her husband is awake. She would cook the best of meal and pat the male ego of her husband.
And Ladies, so much effort and her husband left her for his secretory.
I am not saying that looking good, taking care of yourself, cooking food for your family is wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong in it. But you must be very clear that you are doing this not only to keep the ‘Man’ happy. It is important that you keep your own identity while making your family happy. And remember, it is not always your responsibility to keep the family going. It is a journey where there are two drivers. Yourself and your partner. It’s ok to look like shit if you are not in a mood. It’s okay to share responsibilities with your partner. We as a woman really needs to start understanding that our existence doesn’t need anybody else’s approval and we should be happy in our own definition.
2) It’s never too late to be independent
One thing that is of utmost important for us is to be independent. And when I say independent, I mean in every aspect. In making our own decisions, doing what we love, taking care of your own expenses, wearing what we like…the list goes on. I cannot emphasis enough on how much confident and powerful you will feel when you start having your own income. You don’t have to be an MBA or an Engineer to work. Do anything you want, earn whatever you could but start from somewhere. It gives you immense freedom. Do not be dependent on your spouse or your parents. The moment you will start earning your own money, no matter how small, you will start valuing it. You will feel more empowered. And you will know your worth.
What started as a banter in a pub for Mrs Maisel became her obsession and her path to be seen as what she was best at. She learned her worth. She learned she is more than those kitchens and beauty salons. And she took whatever came to her way. She took all the lemons that life threw at her and what a lemonade she made from them!
Remember, people will always tell you otherwise. They will always expect you to be in a mould that they have come from. But you have to find your own path. You do not have to look for support from anyone except yourself. People often misjudge independence as arrogance. But these are the people who have never tasted a tequila of their own money 😊 Marriage should be gender independent. Make it work with your own rules and not with what society has to say.
3) Get out of your comfort zone
Till you were not married, your parents were doing everything for you. After your marriage, your spouse is making your life easy. Where is the challenge in this? What did you learn living a life like this? Did you manage to broaden your perspective? Did you learn what this world has to offer? Will you ever be able to tell a story of the things you did outside of your comfort zone? Mrs Maisel, who has always lived a lush plush life, stayed at filthy motels, spent her night in a car, travelled alone (without family) for the very first time and came out victorious. She got out of her comfort zone and learned so much that her previous life could never teach her.
Ladies, there is so much in this world to learn and explore. So many things to experience that will only make you grow and broaden your perspective towards life. Saying that ‘I never had to worry for anything because my parents and husband is taking care of everything’ is not something to be proud of. It only shows your weakness. Go out, learn new things, face the challenges that life has to throw and come out strong. You will never learn anything great in life if you are constantly living in your comfort zone. There is no struggle greater that getting out of that cocoon and there is no greater learning when you take things in your own hand.
I could go on with the list, but I will stop here. The whole point of writing this piece down is to understand how important it is to know your worth and not living by anyone else’s definition. Don’t hesitate to put that foot down and make a life of your own. Be fierce, Be independent and be humble.
