The art of listening

While in school, we were told to carefully listen what the other person or the teacher is reading so that questions could be answered in the best possible manner. In debates, we were told to carefully listen to what the opponent is stating and carve the argument around it. During college, the listening was majorly to get the notes done and complete the assignment.

All our childhood and adulthood, the whole agenda around listening was to give the ‘correct’ answer…to get ahead of the race and prove our point right. The point is, we never learned to just listen. We never really learned the whole idea of listening is not just to give the correct answer but to understand a point.

This reflects in every conversation we have today. We have no patience to listen to anyone…not even our heart. Imagine a situation when one of you friend calls you and venting out about his/her work environment. And before even that poor thing is done venting out, you have already started with all the gyaan you have. What we don’t understand is that person might not have called you for your unsolicited gyaan but he/she just might need a friend who could just listen. So why can’t we just god-damn listen?

So the next time, someone call you or text you….maybe just listen to them?

Modern Relationship- of Love and Infidelity

The other day, sitting with friends, we started discussing about relationships and infidelity. The question came up from one of the episodes of Modern love where the female protagonist, being in a relationship, slept with her ex. She came back and confessed it to her boyfriend saying it didn’t mean anything to her. The male protagonist walked out of the relationship right then, only to realise it years later that his one true love was that girl only.

Now, the question is, was it worth it? Spending all those years away from the one he really loved because for him, physical infidelity meant more than emotional one.

One of the friends said that if his wife sleeps with someone else and it doesn’t mean anything to her emotionally, he will talk it out. He’ll be angry, sure, but he will not give up years of building and nurturing that relationship. However, if she is not emotionally attached to the relationship or gets involve with someone emotionally, that’s the end of it.

For some people, I believe, emotional infidelity breaks the core of relationship. There is no coming back from it. And I think, it’s right as well. If a person is not emotionally attached to you anymore, which happens sometimes, there is no point holding on to that relationship. That person has nothing more to give to you and has given up on the very idea of companionship. You could come back from the physical infidelity..because deep down you know your partner still feel for you only…the love is not lost. But once love is lost..what’s the point dragging it when you know ultimately it’s all going to be end soon.

In today’s world, the world of millennials as we would like to call, it has become easier to look out for options outside marriage. Though there is no excuse for it, but I think people already have it pretty difficult in the work life and personal life, they just think that if just talking to someone makes their heart feel a little at ease, what’s the harm? Only to realise it later, that every person comes with a baggage and sometimes the lines get blurred. This is where the problem starts from.

There is no definition of right and wrong. It’s just life and things happen. The only question is, what you are ready to forgive and what is the end of it all for you!