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Friday, June 19, 2009

Ankahee!!

7th Dec 2008 9:30 pm
Oh! he is calling? bt y? gawd, my(Sementha) heart starts beating faster.....
"Hello" I said
"Hi" he replied
Didnt know how to react I said, "Hi".
" I have left some books for you, they will help you in your Exam. Take them from David" he said.
"I already have ample of them, I dont need them" I said, pretending to b normal.
" No, jst collect them from him . M nt going to keep them again in my bags"
"Hmm......wen r u leaving?" I asked
"Tomorrow morning, at 6."
"ok. Take Care"
"You too, Bye"
The call gt over, n so our relationship. Damn me..Y didnt I asked him d reason? Y didnt I asked him ..... Questions starts bulging inside my heart.
12:30 am.
" All d best for your life. May you gt wat all u want . God bless you. Take Care"
I msgd him....waited for his reply...."Thnx for your wishes. have just left this place", he replied at 8 am.
Thousands of butterflies started flying inside my stomach. Is it really over? Will I never be able to see him again ever? Will I ever be able to talk to him again?
And like every other love story, my story also ended up like a "Sad Love Story". My mind gt back to d day wen we first met. Day of our counseling. 27th july 2006.We came on the same day of counseling..and fortunately or unfortunately got d same class, and then the whole flash back starts running infront of my eyes as if m watching sme movie, in which me n him r the protagonist....
Whole night I jst thought of all the tym, good or bad, we had spent together......and that night continued till date and is still goin on......

Sometym I jst wonder why relationships, for which we are very devout, end up like this. Why smwtym love carries us into the abyss, to make matters worse wid the ppl we love. Nothing in life is eternal, bt why love has to go like this from my life? After giving so much to a relation and loving someone so intensely, can we fall in love again? Everything around seems to b so awful (even me)..that I cannot fnd any way around. I read once that "Your destiny is seldom linked to those who walks away from you". Then, wats der in my destiny? When everyone around is happy, why only I cant see any bliss around? Will my future awaits the burial of my past?
I dont know wthr he is happy or not, wthr he remembers me or not....Bt I am not happy, and neither I will be, ever. Coz that pain and agony just burns inside me each and every second i live......live??? well dunn kw really shud I use this word or not....coz I dunn kw wthr m living or just walking on the path of life, going where life is taking me. I pretend a happiness I dont feel, I hide my sadness so as not to worry those who loves me and care about me.
But yes, as every person and every incident is written in your destiny to teach you something, I too learned few things about life and its mystery. I read in one of Paulo's book that "The vertex is hidden inside us, and we can reach it if we accept it and recognise its light". So true.
Despite the fact that everything contradicts, despite my sadness and my feeling of powerless, despite being almost convinced at this moment that nothing will ever get better, I cannot lose onething that keeps me alive :Trust, in me and my 'karma'( as i strongly belive in the power of 'karma'). I dunn kw wat will happen tomorrow.
I dunn kw wthr I will ever feel the same happiness or joy of life, when i'll b able to live a normal life ,But I believe that regardless of our age or circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of HOPE.

7 comments:

geetika said...

u're awesome yaar..
seriously..
i ws actly able 2 visualise each n evry momnt u've gone thru( probably coz i knw evrythng..!!!)
jst wanna say, m alwys.. alwys.. alwys der 4 u buddy.. ne tym, ne place.. 24*7..
u're a real sweetheart..!!
jst stay d way u r.. nd jst wait n watch.. dis whole world will be yours... trust me..
tc..

Mansi said...

thnx a lot dear.....i kw ..u were der, u r der n u will b der....always...

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Gaurav Upadhyay SEO said...

Friend ...u are truly a god gifted writer who can fill emotions in quotes.. I don't know what did exactly happen n who is the second part of "Ankahee!!" but my experiences say that it's Just Time n each n every one is reacting according to that n may be possible it will also be "THE TIME" who could make you both fall in love again .

Take care dear

Mansi said...

thnx a lot gaurav.........Time is d greatest healer.......and yeah it also finishes all d expectations from ur heart.......neways ...thnx for your comments........

subs said...

Hi there. I know this is a late reply but couldnt help commenting.

True Mansi,pain is the hardest thing to take but like you said time heals everything. Love or hatred.And also, getting hurt once matures and helps you grow stronger. I know; it sounds reasonable only in writing .

Mansi said...

@subs

yeah....rgt....bt thing is quite justified.....getting stronger and mature is all the matter of tym!!!!!