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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Art of Sharing!

I always had someone by my side to share my woes…my heartaches…my stories. I was good at it. Sharing things but keeping a lot to myself. People who were there used to think I have opened my heart out to them. But that wasn’t the truth. It could never happen, me opening my heart out to anyone. ANYONE. Though I was good at keeping secrets…I still am. I was confidante of many…there were few who were mine..but never knowing the whole story.

I never wanted anyone in specific in my life. It’s just that I have never been alone. Specially after I started my graduation. There were lovers, more than friends…un named relations. I have had them all. With few I connected like anything. But as they left, the power of me sharing my stories reduced. I never missed anyone for long enough to not let someone else enter. ‘Missed’, I guess is a wrong word here. I missed them all, I still do at times. Rather I never needed anyone. Coz I always had someone.

It may sound selfish or mean or whatever, but that’s the truth. Not every person is there for emotional support…nor for physical one. Few are/were there only for conversations. I have lost my ability to keep a conversation going. I feel I get bored…or I bore people. Either way, I just can’t keep the conversation going. It is not pity…not misery..it is just the way I have become.

I want to live alone…sleep…watch sitcoms after sitcoms…eat good food…and just be alone. I don’t like people asking me what has happened to me, or why I am angry all the time. It’s because people make me so. They make me angry. Maybe because I could not connect with anyone. I can’t talk. Not that I don’t want to. I just can’t.

So, yeah. That is, it. From bad I have become worst with sharing. And I do not regret it. Just that feel alone at times. But I guess that is okay!

3 comments:

Geets said...

You know I sometimes connect so much of what you go through. There are times when I don't miss anyone at all, and I'm happy with just the way life is. It's a phase where I feel good when I meet people but don't miss them much per se. You know, that urge to speak too much... that has gone... or is going down... I speak less and my brains, they've stopped working! Seriously! Presence of mind... I don't know where to find it!

It feels so good to read you and know more about what goes in your head through your writing..
But, I do love you :) <3

Sathya G said...

nice recipe . i just tried its really came good one. in family all are likes it. keep update more things. thanks for shared like this healthy one.

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Aditya said...


its so the same with me right now.

i cant connect to anyone at all. well i always used to be an introvert. i could never share my thoughts to anyone.
i recently started doing it , because people said it would be better. i did. and it ws such a waste.

they are better inside.the thoughts. i am so better alone. i so am.

its surprising i came back to blogging after years and found your post which i could so identify with. so you're not the only one who's real bad at sharing. you've got competition. :p