Wednesday, January 6, 2010
How often I get this feelin of being lost, of being many person caged in one body...to forget everything and everyperson associated with me and my life and to start of again from point zero. To be in a place so unknown and strange....to stand in between the road at night ..and vehicles hasting in every direction around me...to run...run lyk insane till i reach the point infinity, to hear clamor instead of voice, to shout.... where there is no one to question my deeds, where I dont have to feel quilty for my pessimism attitude....where there is no one to exhibit sympathy....as I am tired of such humanity of others. Why dont they understand I dont need them,I love to be alone...I am happy with the way my life is. I dont like socializing with people around..I like strangers....I love spending tym with an unknown person sitting miles away from me, or sitting next to me...neither he is bothered with my life nor do I. We both are happy with our own space and yet we smile at each other. I am happy for limiting my social circle from fifties of friends to merely 3-4. I love sitting in a cafe for hours alone when everyone around me is having a company. People first gave a bizarre look watching me sitting alone, but then for how long could my loneliness be a centre of concern for them....2-3 days and then they too get used to it....now the cafe boy dont give a puzzled look...instead welcome with a smile and make my cappuccino ready in minutes.
Yes, ppl may find me frustated. I also may not be a stable person..one moment I may feel very happy but other second I fill my heart with sorrow. One moment I want something desperately but other moment I may crave for something else. I have my own world ...my own ways of being happy...my own reasons to feel sad. But this is me, and I dont feel ashamed of anything.
P.S.:I never said, "I want to be alone." I only said, "I want to be left alone." There is all the difference.