What If????????

What if one day everything around me becomes blurr...what if one day i'll loose my frnds..what if one day i become "who?" to the ppl close to me..what if one day i become nothing more than a story? what if..............................
Der was a phase between my 10th and +2 ...a phase when i have to left my school...a place where i spent 12 yrs of my life.......losing frnds, acquaintance, teahcers, classes......to be in a place so new..unknown....Class 11th....first day..i was terrified, alone,anxious..not knowing where to go...with whom to talk....will i be able to make new friends? will i be able to make a place in their life? will i be able to make myself "Known" to the ppl here? Time passed and I became an important part of this new crowd....Crushes, laughter, bunks and studies...all were almost perfect at der own place.....I made cluster of new frnds here.....lyf was complete, I was saturated...or what I call "satisfied".
Farewell..Boards...exams....studies...and finally end of Phase 1. I was amazed to notice that I was a complete different person when i complete schooling...I learned not to take lyf as it comes, to adjust with the situations, to accept things as they are......But to fight for the things and your rights....I became a confident and a bold person. Ready to face the challenges of life and this tym...I wasnt feeling frightened to face to new world....lack of suppleness is not that a bad thing i thought.
And den comes Phase 2...."College". I was still the same arrogant person. But this phase was different. I was now facing a real world..a world full of uncertainities and risk...A world just different from my previous world. I made my own world here...made friends whom I can never forget in life....spent moments which i'll cherish forever..and I met love...that was a phase so real and so close to my heart. I lived countless life, thousand lively moments. Learning was a different thing but implementation was wat i applied here. Our faculty always used to say designing a software is not enough until you implement it. How true.Life found new dimensions.
But then, life cant always be the same. Its lyk economic cycle. If their is a boom, then der will also be a slowdown..and then how my life could be an exception? As the time passes, I lost many things in this gamble.And most impotantly lost the REAL me.But then life always compensate the losses.I may have lost myself but got beautiful memories to linger on....friends ready always to stand by my side.
But for how long could they stand beside me? for how long could I live in this virtual world? For how long could I avoid the real things? One day I have to left them...I have to go far from this place...and have to face the ugly things...With those beautiful moments der were things which has made me to lose myself...that pain, that agony one day again will rise....closing my eyes could not change the fact....what if it will come back again in the most unexpected way...what if I will never be able to forget those things? What if I will never be able to live a normal life? What if one day everything around me becomes blurr...what if one day i'll loose my frnds..what if one day i become "who?" to the ppl close to me..what if one day i become nothing more than a story? what if..............................