Bookmarks!

I have this habit of bookmark-ing things. Specially places I would like to visit someday. Right from a loud café in Delhi to a peaceful location somewhere in the hills. Resorts or lavish hotels or be it just a road side vendor selling awesome food. I might not be able to visit them anytime in future, but I imagine what it will be like to be there. I have with fascination with places. More than people I am fascinated with places. I don’t remember a single face on the streets of Melbourne but I remember the locks which was there on the bridge hanging with some messages. I remember the shape and color of bricks used beside the dock.

I guess I have the habit of bookmark-ing life as well. Not the people…but the events. I don’t quite remember the people I met when I was a kid, but I definitely remember the places. The big trees and the lake beside my bua’s house….the buildings and the roundabouts I used to cross while going to market with my grandmother.

I remember what you said to me at 2 am in the morning while we both were drunk, our fingers trembling while we were spilling our secrets. You might not remember …but I remember even the emoticons you used. That’s the kind of person I am. Coz I bookmarked that moment in my mind.

There are thousands and thousands of bookmarked moments saved in my mind forever. And there are hundreds of bookmarks on my laptop. I love each of them…good or bad. While I’d like to see the bookmarks on my laptop once in my life….I wish I could visit some of the bookmarks in my mind once!

Clueless!

I guess I have lost it. The passion and the zeal to do something or anything new. I feel I live a robotic life. Waking up at 7:15, making breakfast, getting ready for office, packing lunch, having breakfast ..working and working with no proper goal. Coming back….putting things at their place…clothes, slippers, bag, specs, earphones. Changing clothes. Serving dinner..slicing beetroot, serving curd,dal and 1.5 chapati. Eating dinner while watching friends. Talk sometime on phone and sleep.

Every single day…I repeat the same thing…the same schedule. Fuck! I earn decent….I wear decent clothes. Eat at good places during weekend. Shop. But what is it that is missing. I don’t know. Everything is pretty good. Maybe I am bored. But I am bored everywhere. Even when on holidays. When I go out for a movie. When I shop. Everything seem a task for me. EVERY DAMN THING! Even having food. I just want to lie down and do nothing. Just nothing! You know in my pajamas! Not caring about my weight or about the pimples on my face..the dark circles..or any fucking damn thing.

I don’t talk to anyone. Any of my friend I mean. I talk to my parents and him. That’s it! Is that could be the reason of my monotony? Maybe!

Maybe I am just tired of living here. It’s been 4.5 years since I have been living away from home. But after some point of time, I get bored at home too. But atleast I am not bothered about what to get cook in breakfast lunch and dinner. About the cleanliness of my house.

At times I feel like taking a sabbatical. But then “Planning” you know. “Planning” the next year doesn’t let me take the leaves.

I have no clue what to do to break the monotony. Suggest me some please?