Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Is this the way I am?

I dunn kw y m gettin so obsessed wid things? Why everytym I get close to something I consider it to be mine? And when it go away it gives pain. Why cant I take things normal like others? Why do I become so possessive with anything and everything closely related to me? Why everytime expectations arise to make me crash again in disappointment and regrets? I am fed up and tired of this attitude of mine. For few seconds world seems to be so nice and amusing place to live but within fraction of seconds it looks ugly and repulsive. I need colours... red, blue, orange all I am nauseated with this black n grey..
When most of the world sleeps at night.....I dun feel a drop of dizziness in my eyes...When they smile to see the morning ,I curse it.....When they laugh, I whoop...When they like sunrays, I love moonshine....When they want summer, I pray for winters to come.....when they want silence, I want to shout out loud....When they want to celebrate, I want to mourn.....When they love parties, I prefer graveyards.
I still dont know that world doesnot belongs to me or I do not belong to it? Is there any problem or this is the way I am and will remain lyk this forever? Why I want to over exhaust myself with more and more work? Why loneliness scared me but solitude is my crush? What I actually wants to see everytym I peep into the mirror?
Whats there in those eyes? Why they smile and suddenly shed tears? Why a new phase starts and finally ends up in meeting the previous one? What is the ultimate fate of this life?

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