After spending the last two days with myself and thinking in what direction my life is rolling, I decided to give a second chance to life and live in a way my heart wants to. Last few years have really been tough and has changed a lot of things inside me. The way I treat life,things and people around me. How I define Love and hatred, how I feel about the little beautiful things around. I realized that I am getting obsessed..with people, with things, with any and everything around. My expectations with people are dying but at the same time are getting hell lot of strong with few people...and this thing hurts...the "Extremes" of anything. I realized that I either HATE something lyk hell or love it like insane...I cant remain neutral with things.The GIRL I was and a person I am today...are completely opposite..undoubtedly I love to be the former. But few scars just cant be healed and so I cant be the same sweet girl I used to be...but yes an effort could be made to atleast get a fraction of it. My life has been rushing with a speed of a light year...things has been changing drastically within a fraction of second... missed a lot of things and happy moments in this journey...but now I want life to be slow...for sometime atleast. I want to see the world around me...world unknown to me..unexplored, pristine and want to re-live few moments.
And henceforth...I am taking some time off from this life..not because I dont like this one..its just that I want to know the "Me" in me...I want to know why things are getting worst from worse in my life...why I am losing everything...relations, freinds, confidence...everything. I dont know what will happen tomorrow...and now I dont care. I dont care If I get into a good college or not, if I get my dream job or not..I am ready to work even for few pennies if that satiate my soul. I have always been so anxious about things in my life, my career, my future....and even after burning midnight oil, things are not going my way..then why to get afraid of??
So..I am excluding myself from all the social activities...talking, chatting ...going out with friends...answering stupid questions about past...talking about future...holding expectations from those someones'....everything....everything which hurt and makes my heart weep. I am not angry with anyone..nor any single person holds the responsibility of my decision...Its what I want to do for myself..for sometime.
(P.S.One request for my few friends here...plz dont ask any question and please dont give any call to ask for the same. Their is a great possibility that I will not be able to receive your calls..dont take things otherwise..as soon as I feel right I myself will give a call to all of you..this is just a time off....for few days.And yes...this is the only place I am not going to lose contact with ]