Since the last time we talked..I have been trying to get your thoughts out of my mind…to get your memories out from my heart. It’s stupid of me to still think of you…its stupid to still have a believe that you will come back one day..someday…Its stupid to feign happiness when I am dying inside..every minute..every second. Yes, there was a phase when I thought I am over with your memories..that I am not a slave of your thoughts anymore. No wonder, I was wrong.
After you left, a lot in my life changed. It’s getting worst from worse now. Everything..almost everything is going in the wrong direction. I am tired of pretending that everything is going to be alright..coz I know nothing is going to be. I am tired of getting things back on track. I am tired of remembering you ..of having your dreams each night. They make me sad…they make me restless..they make me sick..your dreams. In the last two months I tried not to cry..I tried so hard that I felt my heart crying but no tear dropped from my eyes. And today..I cried like a baby…whole day…whole night.
I am exhausted now…I have no stamina left to fight with myself anymore. I want you to help me now. I want you to show me the escape!