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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Pause

The only thing about today and yesterday is that nothing has changed. From the last few days I feel like life has come to a pause. Everything around is still. Not a single movement...movement of emotions, of people, of things…nothing. The door that I closed few days back is still closed. Nobody came in and no one went out. No, there is no peace around..but no mayhem too. I am not happy, neither sad. Numb? Maybe! Life was running too fast that I am actually ok with this stillness for sometime now! I have abandoned few things, few people, and few emotions from my life. …and I am neither feeling bad nor happy for that. I feel that has to happen. Everything has a life of its own…and after that you have to leave that..for good or for bad..you are no one to judge that. Sometime we should not challenge the rule of nature. For now…I am reading a lot…music keep my nights occupied and spending lots of time with myself. I try and keep my mobile away from me these days. It’s very distracting. No calls..no messages. I don’t call any friend to accompany me for a coffee or shopping..I do it alone. I roam..I shop..I watch movies..and I do all this alone. Well, not alone actually..I have me with myself all the time. And it’s kind of very satiating. I find it hard to cry these days…no anger even! That’s good for a change. I realize the lesser I interact with people, the more contented I feel. And even when I feel this need to talk..I talk with strangers or to the people who know very little about me. I am also planning to move out of this city very soon. I want to start again from point zero and want to go in a place where people don’t know anything about me except for my name. And rest they’ll know what I want them to know! Plans they are…hoping to implement them soon!


8 comments:

atul said...

niceee 1

Mansi said...

@Atul:
Thnx! Surprised to see you here!

Red Handed said...

sometimes leaving and starting up again is the only option u got.

beautifully written.
earned a follower :P

Mansi said...

@RH:
Or the best option left!!!
Thnx :-)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Your writing it down after so many days of pause, does this break the cycle and change something? :P
We all can try to become unknown, but then some idiot will come who'll constantly bug us out of the shadows we are casting on ourselves. Maybe in form of anger, but exposing us nevertheless. :)

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Mansi said...

@BA:
Nothing changed for now :-P
Yes, there always are some idiots...sometime for good and sometime for worst!
Nevertheless, we never stop trying!

विवेक Call me Vish !! said...

superbly written !!


Jai Ho Mangalmay Ho

Mansi said...

@Vivek:
thnx!