Saturday, March 5, 2011
Relationships and Me!
I have always faced disappointment and hurt in relationships. From the time I was a kid till today…relations have done nothing good to me. Not once! I have always valued relations more than anything in my life..friends, mentors, love , special someone. I have done more than required to keep them alive..loved them with all my heart, compromised lot many times to make them happy. And at the end what all I get in return is humiliation, backstabbing and lies. I have always trust people and they have always proved me wrong. People, whom I considered the best in my life, defamed my belief on them. Not a single relation in my life..not a single friend in my entire tenure ..turned out to be honest and faithful.
And today, if someone asks me with whom I am close or who holds a special place in my life…I say,’ No one! ‘. Yes..it’s no one today on whom I can rely. I don’t have faith left in my heart. I am tired of these lies. I am tired of broken trust and relationships. I cannot carry the burden of false relationships anymore. This has been so devastating an experience that today I cannot trust my own shadow. I think thousand times before taking a decision. I have lost faith in myself. I doubt every decision of mine. I doubt my ability to do anything. I just don’t want to talk with anyone now. I don’t want to know anyone. I want to get lost somewhere. I need silence. I don’t want to listen to my own heart and mind.
I am done with my share of relationships. No new relations now..no new friends..no old friends either! For now..all I need is complete silence. I want to live alone for a while. Or may be from now on, I want no one. I am over with the dose of sick sympathy and fake smiles.
True, relationships and I are not meant for each other!
... This pic has nothing to do with the post!