When I look back at these 24 years, I could only see broken relations, tears, my pathetic expectation from people I loved and cared for, expectation to get a place in their life…to be ‘someone’ from a ‘no one’ in their heart, to love and be loved, to be their for them anytime and everytime they needed me and want them to be my side during my lows. To cross any boundary for them coz I loved them, to make my parents understand that I am not a cold-blooded person…I too love them…I too care for them. To make my friends understand that the most important thing I expect from them is truth and honesty. To make my best friend understand that no one is more important to me in this world than him…to make him understand that its a best of friend expecting her best friend to be by her side always….to make my brother understand that I am not as bad as I seem to be, it’s just that I am concerned. I don’t want him to make the same mistakes that I made once.
But I am a mediocre; I can’t even express all this. Such a pathetic loser I am. And I guess it’s over now…the time…to make everyone realize that I exist. Coz no one cares…coz no one cares for a mediocre. Even my cry is like a noise to them now. I guess it’s time to stop trying and make a silent exit from their lives. No more ‘please-try-to-understand’ drama coz no one will. Ever.
P.S: I am not bad. I am just a mediocre. Guess being a mediocre is bad.