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Monday, May 20, 2013

In between!

In between all the work…non-reachable deadlines…never ending training sessions…always popping up mailbox…the bright screen of laptop causing severe headache…uncountable cups of caffeine…talks that only consist of corporate jargons…a thought crosses your mind. Or maybe a conversation or even an incident that happened long back..someday…with that someone who is not a part of your life anymore. You know, just like that. Nothing to be specific off. Just anything. And you stop. Or rather freeze. And everything around comes to a halt. You are no more aware of what is happening around..what your boss is screaming for? A gulp of air passes through your throat. Eyes become moist for no good reason. You press them hard…your eyes…to let that moment go, take few deep breathes and exhale hard. One time. Two time. Thinking that would help…for that moment of weakness.

And the same thing happens over and over again. And everytime it happen, you tell yourself that it’s gonna be ok! Someday! Oneday!

Solitude and loneliness are very similar but entirely different things. One gives you bliss while other takes all the humane out of your soul.

You look around and feel you are amidst the crowd wherein nothing is yours. No one whom you could call and say ‘I am not ok!’…no one who would ask you how have you been or the reason for the ever growing dark circles around your eyes. You realize there is actually no one whom you could talk to. And hence, every evening…after coming back from work…you lay down like a corpse. Eating without bothering what shit your maid has cooked. Watching TV just for the sake of switching channels. Taking long walk every night, after day long work, just to tire yourself so that you could sleep at night.

It’s a strange thing you know. Like a string. You lose one person and with him go the whole chain of people you called your friends or people you were somewhere connected to. People with whom you laughed and cried. People who called you anytime and knows the reason of sadness behind your smile.

The world is moving in its speed. Everything around is moving on. But you stand still, not knowing which direction to go. This is what loneliness does to you! This is how a person who made you complete, make you alone!


5 comments:

Whuaat? said...

Yea. Harsh random realizations. Things change, people change. After a point of time, we have no option but to move on..

Raajii said...

Your background does not load properly. Your text is almost invisible :-(

mansi kashyap said...

@Whuaat:
n dats nt an easy option.

@Raaji: I don't know! :( It is gettin load here. It takes some time but it gets load!

Soumesh said...

It happens..it really happens..you can not say to anyone that you are not okay..we walk through a crowd of thousand people but still we feel alone within our soul..life is very complicated..and life isn’t just addition and subtraction. There’s also the accumulation, the multiplication, of loss, of failure...

mansi kashyap said...

@Soumesh:
Life is not fair. But it's not fair for everyone. So, somehow...this makes it fair :)