Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Nothing-ness- Phase 2

I am losing it all. All my interest. Interest in things I loved doing once…or just few days back. I haven’t read anything since beginning of ‘Phase-2’. I haven’t written anything. I haven’t pondered over anything. I haven’t seen a complete episode of Grey’s anatomy..when I was watching 5-6 episodes in a day,back then.

I don’t know if it’s the transition…my busy schedule or the need of being ‘nothing’….But for now…I AM losing it all. I don’t feel this need to talk to anyone. I don’t feel this need to get engage myself in any sort of nexus with anyone. If you talk to me..I’ll talk too. But if you don’t…I just not even bother to know you exist or not.

I guess this happens with all of us..somewhere…down the line. When we just want to be ‘us’. Nothing more..nothing less. Everything around seems meaningless. Relationships are just another word. Coz maybe you’re done. Done with your share of holding on…of hope…of thinking that things will go fine someday….that it’s just a phase and this too shall pass. You’re done with your share of hurt…of pain and now all you need is silence..both inside and around.

There is so much new around me…so much that I need to explore yet so many things that remind me of the year bygone. Memories. But strangely….today…I feel like smiling at them. Not that they do not pain. They do…and at times I feel like there is nothing left in me. But at the end of the day…they all feel like a distant memory.

Yes, maybe I am done..or maybe it’s this transition of this new phase that isn’t allowing me to go back!

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