Why sometimes we have to pretend that we are living..when in reality we are just breathing! Can’t we live just three days in a way we want to! Yes, I want to live only for three days. And when I say LIVE I mean not only to breathe but to live without feign happiness. I don’t remember when was the last time I laughed my heart out…last time I felt really good about myself…last time I felt love beneath my heart for someone…even for myself…last time I cried like a baby. Today tears just roll down and heart doesn’t care to ask the reason…today I just smile when lips are unaware of happiness. Love, affection, care are just words with no meaning. I thought new place would change this attitude of mine…but I was wrong. This is the way I have become and this is the way I always will be! People….they are just faces for me now…with names but no meaning in my life.
Do I want to be like this? No! I sometimes hate this cage of isolation and curse myself for doing this…for creating this strong circle around myself where no one is allowed to enter! I want to feel the freshness of rain on my face….the cool breeze of air…calmness of moon…beauty of flowers…just for three days…I want to live without regrets…without fear of losing anyone…without ifs and buts...without thinking about anyone but myself!
Am I asking too much? Just three days of living!