It’s hard to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. The desires within could not be repressed. But …this but remains…always! Making simple things complicated. Sometimes being sure of what you feel is a blessing in disguise. Knowing what you exactly want…the type of people you like…the type of jerks you despised. It’s all so clear inside the mind. And heart? Heart knows no reason….it loves….love without condition…without barriers….without obstacles. …even after knowing the reality….even after knowing the vast gap between desires and reality. The difference between lust and love.

कितना खुद को पहचान पाए?

क्या सीखे क्या जान पाए,
कितना खुद को पहचान पाए,
अब जो बैठे हैं खुद के साथ
तो लगा कितना कुछ छूट गया हर रुत के साथ|
क्या ये दौड़ भाग कभी कम होगी?
एक दूसरे से आगे निकल जीतने की चाह कब ख़त्म होगी?
हर एक पल यहाँ एक क़र्ज़ सा लगता है,
भीड़ में खो जाना ही अच्छा सा लगता है|
हर रिश्ते की यहाँ कीमत लगायी जाती है
मिलने और बिछड़ने की शर्तें लगायी जाती हैं
जो हस दे दिल एक बार वो बातें अब कहाँ हैं
खुद से मिलने का लोगों पे समय ही कहाँ है,
खुद से मिलने का लोगों पे समय ही कहाँ है...

Best Friends? :-)

Me: You know what…you don’t talk to me. I am not talking to you. It would be better if we don’t talk to each other. My time in your life is complete. Search for some other friend.
He: Listen…..Kam bol!



Me: You jerk…you never reply of my messages. I will never ever message you.
He: When did I not reply?
Me: Today, yesterday, day before yesterday…you just get lost.
He: Toh…I closed all matters of day before yesterday na? For today…umm….gemme sometime to think what excuse should I make :-P



He: Tell na what’s the matter?
Me: Nothing na!
He: Come on …out with it now!
Me: I told you the thing.
He: No…I am talking about the thing that’s bothering you!
Me: That’s the only thing I had to say. Nothing else.
He: You won’t tell na?
Me: I know na there is nothing else I could say,
He: Listen…you know yourself better than me?
Me: *all smiles*



Me: Why you always make me angry? What pleasure do you seek in boiling my blood?
He: I can do anything I want. I have every right to.
Me: Yes..you have every right…you can do everything you want. I can’t do anything. Everything is yours.
He: Yes….aren’t you mine too?



He: Why do people go away whom I love so much?
Me: Don’t you love me? Am I not with you?



Me: You better start studying or else I’ll snatch the 2-3 girlfriends you are left with.
He: I don’t have any girlfriend ok!
*After sometime*
He: Listen….don’t do that ok….what will I do without them?



He: I am chatting with S.
Me: Ok!
He: What happen?
Me: Nothing!
He: Feeling low?
Me: Nah!
He: Ok…Then can I flirt with S?



Me: You know what you can’t always make me smile when I am angry!
He: I can!
Me: No you can’t. I am very very angry with you right now. And don’t you dare change the topic and divert my mind. I know you always do that and the moment I smile you know it’s all ok. This is heights of carelessness. How could you forget to tell me such an important thing? Or you do that intentionally? Oh yes…you don’t feel any need to share things with me now.
He: You know what…I bought an airtel sim for just Rs.12 today…can you believe?
And all I could do is to smile on his naïve behavior. And there he knows everything is under control.

another untitled!

It’s not easy..to fight with yourself every day. To avoid you feelings and feign to feel something else. It’s not easy to make others happy….but making yourself happy is tougher. Are we all so good at suppressing our true feelings and show a different persona of ours? Or it’s that we don’t know what we actually want. And what if when things become clear? What when you exactly know what your heart craves for and you couldn’t do anything about it but just to console him every now and then. Aren’t ignorant people more satisfy and contented with their lives? Maybe. Maybe not.

This place and my few old friends !

I would be lying if I say that I do not like this place. Keeping aside some of my health problems including this damn fracture; the place is not that bad. Living on my own is a thing I always wanted….though I wanted to go some far and serene place but not all your wishes are granted. Everything in this world teaches you something…so I am learning lot many new things everyday here. Not only about the world around but about myself too…Diving new dimensions to few old relations and getting closer with few new relations. Meeting new people and getting attached with them is not in my wishlist right now. I am exploring much more here. Few realizations, few deep down wishes which I wasn’t aware of, people who matter, nexus with few, my aspirations….lot many things.

This place is calm…too calm. I once was talking to my friend and said it would be better if I could stay in Delhi rather than Noida. And she said wait for few days and you’d say I love being here. Right she was. Few moments here are just magical. The sky, the nights, flawless moon, and my terrace (the most beautiful part of the place I live). I never enjoyed gazing at the stars so much; never appreciated the beauty of clear sky as I do here. I love walking and travelling alone here. I love watching the city at night via metro. It looks magical. This place.
Maybe for a very short span but I meet myself here. The real me. I laugh and smile for no reason. I miss few people terribly and realize they are more close to me now. I realized how much I love them and how much they love me. How we both are an inseparable part of each other’s life now. Despite trying hard and harder to go away from them, I only feel close and closer to them. No wonder, you understand the value of few relations after going far from them.

Love has taken a backseat in my life now. I don’t care much for the past ghosts now. They do not appear anymore in my dreams. And now even if they come back…I know how to fight and through them out. Yayyy!!

And I realized the value of my hometown. I remember talking to a friend once, who has been living in Noida for some three years and is now in Mumbai ,that I simply hate being here at my hometown. He laughed and said you’ll understand the charm of your hometown once you’ll go away from here. And guess that…he was right too. I miss my place like anything. No I don’t miss my parents, siblings, relatives and all only…but I miss my place.



It’s just the beginning. I wish and hope the coming years here makes me learn good new things and my relations with those few people remains as strong as they are now!

Do you know who are you?

Why is it always so tough to write about ourselves when it is so easy to talk about others? Making perceptions and being judgmental is so easy for all of us. We can spend hours gossiping and talking about others. And the moment someone asks us to talk about ourselves, we get blank and confused as to what exactly we are!

The same thing happened in my psychology assignment. As per which we were ask to write about ourselves, what other think of us, what we are to the world and what we are for real. I was amazed and surprised to see the reaction of the people. Nobody was ready to and comfortable doing the assignment.

Since then I have been thinking why people are so confused and get bewildered when it comes to knowing oneself? Why we run from it? What we are scared of? Do we really don’t know our real self or is it that we want to close our eyes from the reality? Why we are so adamant when it comes to accepting our own faults and very comfortable blabbering fault of other? Why we are so multi personified selfish beings?

I sometimes wonder will I be able to meet any person in my life who is not fake. I mean we all are at some point of time, but too much of persona is devastating.

We should know about ourselves first before uttering words for others. And the more you know about yourself, the more you’ll think before talking about others!