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Thursday, May 31, 2012

A person I never want to be!

I have been writing a lot these days. Writing whatever coming through my mind…incomplete, scattered, all over my diary. Yes, I have started writing diary again. Not that I write everyday of my life there…but yes things that I want to remember that happened…things I want to keep with myself all my life long. The way my life has turned into a phase where everything around is just going out of control including myself! I have totally lost control over myself and my people around. But the point is, there is no sense in controlling things now…I have been trying to do it for quite sometime now and I could not see an ounch of improvement in anything around. Perverts will remain perverts, people who actually care will keep on doing so….and during this time…many true colours emerged.
Today, this pain has become unbearable. For there is no other way to bear the pain, to get back the life that used to be, to smile without efforts, to breathe without suffocation, to look into mirror and does not find a stranger standing, to feel for once, to laugh for once or smile atleast, to be.......JUST ME!!
I need a break…from everyone around…from everything. It’s time to make few decisions…few steps need to be taken. I don’t know from where and till when I’ll be able to gather strength enough to stand by them…coz still there exist a part within me which still cares, which still cries for the loved once, which still seeks love….but it’s not worth it anymore….this love, this care, this concern!
I don’t know whether I have started hating the world or it’s the other way around….whatever it is….either it will destroy me or I’ll be a person I never want to be!


3 comments:

Green Speck said...

Your writings reflect an inner turmoil that you are going through...words such as destruction clearly reflect the pain that you might be having at the moment...however, isn't this what life is all about? winning and losing and winning and losing and winning...the cycle never stops...so just try to be positive and relish the good moments...ignore the bad patches...and things will turn out to be fine :-)

Latent_Thoughts said...

There is one thing I look forward to the most..its your blog posts. :)

I can totally feel you through your words, each and each sentence is understood like crystals glistening in the sun.

Take it from the stranger who you do not know; Its better forget the hurtful patch and live. You life, matters more than a broken relationship, an accident.. It will hurt, for a very long time.. always does but than it will not matter any more. Believe me, take it from me, you life will matter far more than everything else.

Have a great day :)

Mansi said...

@GreenSpeck:
I hope so :)

@LatentThoughts:
thnk u, Waiting for that day !:)