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Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Unknown 'Me'!!!!!

People say I write only sad things ..things of past...things which have no relevance today..past is something I cant change..then why to discuss it even...why only write about pain? Why not of things the world around? Why not about corruption, politics, cricket, profession? Why only things so depressing and poignant? Some ask is that all fiction I write or is this d way my lyf is....full of failures and disappointments.
I dont answer any of the question...coz I blv its not worth it. People who kw me know the answer of each and every part of it, for rest...i dont think its even necessary. I write what I feel lyk writting. One who is trying to extract my story and feelings with der own mix and match are just wasting der tym. Der are lots of stories and things beneath my mind and heart...some real, some fiction, some real which i want to be a fiction and vice-versa. Its hard for me even to differentiate between the two...for others..may be impossible. Coz I live a parallel life with this. I talk to people who are not with me today. I sit with my past and talk for hours..I go and meet it everyday...i cry with it ..i laugh with it. And in those moments I dont let anyone to go far from me. I have stole few clicks, few moments from it...with which I live everyday. And in all this..I feel you..near me...with me...beside me..smilling... and looking at me.Yes, I see you everyday and everywhere I go.You dont let me go away, coz I dont want you to let me go. I am your addicted...and you know that. No matter where you are...how you are...you always remain with me..every place I go, I fnd your existence..and we walk together..hand in hand. Those empty streets, those crowded roads, those stairs..I feel you everywhere.
People say I dont want to come out this pain and agony...I dont want to let go things. Yes..I dont want to...coz I like when I cry everynight and my eyes get red and swell for you..it make me feel alive..the pain. Coz If I let this go..I'll lose you..forever. You exist in evry part of my pain...of my reasonless smiles...of my unknown tears.How can I let you go away from me? How can I make myself free from this pain? This is the only way I can feel you with me.How can I lose you?



9 comments:

impuregod said...

I wrote a line something about missing someone.... "I dont wanna lose ma memories as i dont wanna lose yo".... memories of them is all we have.... I kno its hard for ppl to comprehend why sometimes letting go is impossible....

Mansi said...

@impuregod
its nt bout d hardship...its just that we dont want to let it go....
like your line says "I dont wanna lose ma memories as i dont wanna lose yo".....

impuregod said...

by hardship i meant the ppl who keep askin us to "let go"... its hard for them to comprehend the reason why we wont let go of certain things...

Mansi said...

yeahh....n they'll never understnd...the reason why we hold on memories!!!!

Tapas said...

But the question is for how long you are going to do that? It better end soon girl. Life's too short to grieve. Get hold of someone who loves you, doesn't matter if that person is you yourself and run into life headfirst! :-)

Mansi said...

dunn kw wen its going to end...may be never....
I dunn want anyone to love me nw...nt even me...it scares me...these words..Love, affection, care.....m living so may lives deze dayz..one full of enthu and zeal, one in solitude...one alone.....
Tryin to figure out the real ME......

heartupsurge said...

Your last comment makes me smile Mansi. It also brings alive the fond memories of my teeange and early youth. How we cling on to someone or somethings and we don't wish to 'let go.' Just a matter of time. We never 'let go' the people and things, rather with time they start fading. Sometimes it takes a moment and sometimes the whole life to 'let go' our memories. So enjoy them till they fade, whether good or bad.

Tapas, let the girl just be. Nothing can force someone to erase the memories that one cherishes.

Mansi said...

hope they never fade... :-|

rutuja hendre said...

its true!!!!